Well, This Is Just Dandy
by FlowerofAdversity
Summary: This is what I get for watching *way* too many episodes of R&M and SD. Behold the concoction of my nutty imagination.


Well, This is Just Dandy

Synopsis: This is what happens when you watch too many episodes of Space Dandy and you begin to wonder, 'what if Rick and Morty time traveled and bumped in to Dandy and his crew aboard the Aloha-Oi ?'

Chapter 1-But I Have A Test Monday !

Morty was quietly sleeping in his bed, dreaming about summer vacation, which wasn't too far away. He was ready to take a trip to Universal Studios Florida since everyone in the family had pitched in for the trip out of their hard-earned odd jobs during the winter. Oddly enough, they all had money left over to buy whatever souveniers they wanted to remember their trip. Morty couldn't be more excited. Whether or not his parents knew it, he was an immense fan of Harry Potter and couldn't wait to choose his own wand and be sorted into Hogwarts if he had his pick. Grinning about the opportunity that lay in front of him, he grinned peacefully as his sleep. That is until his Uncle Rick came bursting into the room unnannounced.

'Morty, we gotta go.', he said, eructating repeatedly between words.

'Aw, come on, Uncle Rick ! I've got a test Monday ! What if we don't get back in time ? Besides, summer vacation isn't too far from now, and we're all going to Orlando.', Morty complained. The swirling yellow-green vortex behind Rick was beginning to close and their margin of entry was decreasing the more they conversed.

'No time. Either we go now and see what lies ahead in the future and jack around a little bit with it, or stick around here in the lame, boring present.', Rick said.

'When you put it that way, it's definitely more appealing.', Morty agreed. With a quick tug on Morty's hand, Rick had pulled him into the warp, which led them into the darkened hull of what seemed to be a spaceship. All around them, they could see billions of stars, galaxies, nebulae and myriads of worlds.

'Still night, you can get the remainder of your beauty sleep, seeing that you need all of it you can get.', Rick said, sarcastically. He yawned and stretched, finding a comfortable couch to lie down on in the middle of the ship. Before long, Rick was snoring loudly, unpreterbed by Morty creeping around the massive cruiser before he soon tuckered out and found a place on the floor which was unusually soft. Eyes heavy, Marty curled up in a ball next to the love seat, undeterred or distracted by his Uncle Rick's obnoxious snoring.

Chapter 2-Aboard the Aloha Oi

By the time the two awoke, they were staring face to face with a sentient android by the name of QT.

'No way...COOL.', Morty said, admiring the intricacy of the robot. Rick, startled, awoke and gingerly pushed Morty aside.

'Woah there, cowboy. No more touching robots. We don't want another Gazorpazorp clusterf #$ now do we ?', Rick said. Chagrinned, but still amazed, Morty continued to gawk at the android.

'You seem to be time travelers from another reality. Would I be correct in making that assumption ?', QT questioned.

'Yep.', Rick said, non-chalant, as if he had answered this question millions of times in the past.

'Man, that's flippin' badass. You two can travel anywhere, anytime in space and time whenever you want.', Meow, the Betelgeusean said as he reached out to touch Rick's raygun.

'Tut, tut, tut. Paws off the merch, cat.', Rick said in a stern tone, glowering. Meow looked somewhat hurt by the reprimand, but thought that Rick had the better idea keeping his time-distorting ray to himself and close to his person at all times.

'So, what do you two do ?', Morty asked, inquisitively.

'We're sort of like bounty hunters, but we track, search and tag rare aliens for a prize.', QT explained, perkily.

'Often after we recieve our bounty, we head off to Boobies...', Dandy began. Rick then became _extremely _interested.

'Now things are really starting to pick up. Boobies you say ? What is this lovely place, and when can we get there ?', Rick asked, eagerly.

'Luckily, we just dropped off a rare alien not long ago and have enough money to make another trip to our favorite hot spot in the galaxy.', Meow mentioned.

'Sweet !', Morty said.

'I don't think kids are involved, Morty.', Rick said, with a bit of a sneer.

'Aw, jeez. Don't be such a jerk.', Morty said, pouting.

'There's no harm in letting him go. Come on, Rick. Be a good sport. Besides, it'll give him good exposure !', Dandy offered. Morty's eyes became as big as saucers and he hugged Dandy unexpectedly. Patting the kid's head rapidly and then pushing him away ever so slightly, Dandy gave the command for the Aloha-Oi to fly to the closest Boobies. Morty had lost track of time, seeing how much fun he was having interacting with aliens he had never seen as well as a well-known intergalactic rare alien hunter. It's not like he didn't run into unusual creatures in his travels with Uncle Rick but getting to go to a Hooters in space was something he rarely, if ever would be allowed to do. 'Now', he thought to himself, 'If I die tomorrow, I can die one lucky son of a bitch.'

Chapter 3-Boobies

By the time they entered the restaurant after parking their craft, Rick and Morty were virtually in heaven. Neither one of them had seen so many gorgeous women before, whatever breed, race, species or size.

'Beats Ball Fondlers, doesn't it ?', Morty said, nudging Rick in the ribcage.

'Reluctantly, I'll have to agree with you. But you'll have to admit, it was the most awesome series any of us had ever seen. Pity we don't have interdimensional satellite anymore. Stupid Jerry decided it was too expensive. Idiot.', Rick complained as he downed another alien cocktail that made him happier than usual.

Morty tried to keep Rick from acting like a moron, but in his intoxicated state, it was much harder than usual. Before he knew it, he was on stage singing a karaoke duet with his Uncle. However, even in this blotto state, Morty had to admit that he was having the time of his life. Not to mention, there were bevies of beauties winking at him from below, all flirting with him. On Earth he never had that much attention at all. Besides, the food in the restaurant Dandy loved was the best he had ever eaten. He didn't care if he _ever _went to Orlando now. This little vacation in unknown parts of the galaxies far superceded anything Earth would come up with.

That night, the crew came back, tuckered out and stuffed to the gills with excellent cuisine. There were beds that Dandy had for 'stowaways' just in case, but he wondered if anyone could be missing Rick and Morty back home.

_Meanwhile..._

_Back on Earth... _

Jerry was going to go fishing with his son, seeing that tomorrow was the weekend. He had promised to do so all year but had never gotten around to it. Inwardly, he was cursing the fact that he had been a rotten father and now he was going to make up for it. With all of his gear on, ready to catch the biggest fish known to mankind, he sneaked into Morty's room, only to find that he was still sleeping under the covers. Apparently, knowing how gullible Jerry was, in a last moment strategy, Rick stuffed Morty's pillow under the covers. In the dim light, Jerry would _never know_ it wasn't Morty.

_On the Aloha Oi..._

Rick, snoring, knew that his plan had worked and snickered in his sleep. 'Oh Jerry, you gullible imbecile. This is why you could never be a brilliant scientist like myself.', he thought as he continued dreaming about the hot babes that had surrounded him only hours earlier at Boobies and the killer version of 'We Are the Champions' that he and Morty belted out during their magnificent duet.

Chapter 4-All Good Things...

The next day, the crew of the Aloha Oi went back to what it did best; hunting strange and rare alien species and visiting unusual worlds. Dandy, QT and Meow didn't mind relaying the harrowing stories of their adventures. Yet, it dawned on Rick that fairly soon, it would be Monday and Morty had a test to take. Although, the thrill of adventure and the adrenaline rush it provided he knew that 'normal' life beckoned Morty back into the real world. Even though it wasn't his style, Rick left a note, thanking the crew of the Aloha Oi for their hospitality. They had taken plenty of photographs to commemorate the surreal atmosphere and ambrosial ladies at Boobies, granted their hormone laden brains would ever forget such hotness. With much reluctance, he swept a still sleeping Morty back up into his arms and wisked him away. Blasting a portal back to the present day, he tucked Morty in and kissed his forehead, not really knowing why he did so.

'Not like I _like _the kid...', he muttered to himself while belching. He tottered out of Morty's room and bumbled to the living room, where he would be sleeping on the couch. Summer was already asleep in another chair, totally zonked out. The TV was still on, and he had to laugh despite himself. The Smith kids weren't so bad really, even if he did give them a hard time.

Epilogue

Even after Morty had unexpectedly aced all of his tests and done far better than _everyone _ had recently thought, the vacation Jerry supplied for the entire Smith family was one even better than what Morty and Rick had experienced on the Aloha Oi. Still nothing could beat the jiggly pleasure of Boobies, which would remain a secret between the two men for as long as they both breathed air. No one else had to know and no one was the wiser.

The End


End file.
